Sunday, October 11, 2009

When Will I Be Enough?


As I was getting ready for church this morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was less than impressed and began to lecture myself for the recent weight gain I experienced. Many of you know that over the last year I have worked hard to lose weight, so just imagine my frustration to find that I’ve picked back up a few of those pounds over the last couple of months. My self lecture continued for a few minutes when I was reminded of two things I have said over the last couple of weeks: “Every girl needs ice cream when she is sad”, and “Chocolate! I’m feeling a bit stressed and need some chocolate”. I was stunned when I remembered those words, especially when the Spirit whispered to my heart, “When will I be enough?” While the reasoning behind these statements and the emotions true, the statements themselves showed me that that food had become my God. I’ve allowed my worries, my anxieties, and every other emotion to be shared with and comforted by chocolate, ice cream, rich foods, and sugar instead of my loving God. The food lasts for a moment and tastes good on my lips, but God is my portion forever.


Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


Lord, forgive me for not giving you all of me... my worries, anxieties, fear, joy, happiness, all the emotions that sometimes cause me to seek other means of comfort. My desire is for YOU! The love I have for the rich things that are not good for me has hurt me in the past and began to destroy my health. I give that all to You! Help me to restrain myself. Help me to not eat out of emotional whims or mindless comfort. Let me be a woman seeking you first in all things. Let my desire only be for You. You are my strength and my portion Forever!!! Amen.